She is pregnant. How do you help? As the man, what is your role? What’s okay to say and what is overstepping?
Truth is, you have a vital role to play. She needs you whether she says it out loud or not. Let’s look at ways you can support her right now.
Listen and problem-solve together peacefully
Just listen. Seriously. Just like yours, her mind is also spinning a million miles an hour. She needs someone to just hear all her concerns without judging her for speaking them as she processes.
Be an active listener. Put your phone down while the two of you talk. Give her your full attention, ask questions for clarification if you don’t understand, and then respond kindly with extra empathy. Emotions might be high, but do your best to both stay calm. Validate her feelings and do your best to calmly explain yours, too.
Take the initiative to start tough conversations about things like any fears and hopes you might have after such big news. It’s okay for this to feel really tough, but it’s important to choose compassion. Be courageous and share your feelings.
Be Educated
She is likely very overwhelmed with the decision she has to make very soon. The fact is, no matter which option she chooses, it will impact both of your lives. It’ll be a chapter in your life story forever.
The best thing you can do is to be educated on all three of your options for the outcome of this pregnancy. Familiarize yourself with the various options, including parenting, adoption, and abortion. Knowing the pros and cons of each option makes sure you are making the best kind of decision- an educated decision.
Remind her you have time. Slow down together and take the time to really think things through.
Talk about the information you found in your research and take the time to talk it through with your partner. Be ready to actively listen, since she likely has her own thoughts, questions, or concerns after her own research.
Be a supporting partner
Accidental pregnancies are complicated and emotionally exhausting. Provide her mental, physical, and emotional support as she thinks things through. That looks like offering a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, going with her to appointments, or helping with things around the house.
Get additional help
Option 1 gives help to women navigating an accidental pregnancy. We offer free pre-abortion screenings, pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, and a registered nurse to help her learn more details about each of her options. Empower your partner to schedule an appointment with us to get the facts she needs to keep herself safe.
We’re here to help in a judgement-free way.